Hey guys, whats up. Welcome back to my blog.
The magical place where you come to read all about how my day went. But, maybe you don’t and you’re here by accident. In which case – welcome, have a look around subscribe and all that jazz. Plug.
Anyway, today. Tuesday the 26th of September.
If you read yesterdays’ blog you would know I had a pretty important meeting to go to. BUT, it clashed with some work training. Did I go? Keep reading to find out!
So, heres’ how it went down. I went to work as per normal. I was feeling slightly anxious about breaking the news to my boss. Here I am standing by the sink washing dishes trying to muster up all the courage i have in my body to tell it like it is. Then it just blurted out.
“I have been presented with a great opportunity and I really want to go, it clashes with the training though”
The response was a little dull.
“This training was organised weeks ago”
There it was. Obligation. I was obliged to go to this training session. I am too loyal, I can’t not go to the training. It would annoy too many people. My boss then continued to bring me down bit by bit. “it’s a competitive industry, you won’t make it”. Feeling diminished and kind of defeated I continued to work and go about the day. Boss left and then something hit me.
This voice in my head piped up. It was unlike anything I’ve heard before.
You are a casual employee, this training is unpaid and where are you going with this? Don’t you want to do something with your life. Is this your dream? Is your ultimate dream to work for your boss. Have you made it? Yeah – maybe you could reschedule the meeting, do you think your boss ever rescheduled a meeting to work for someone else? No. What are you waiting for?
I picked up my phone and sent the message. “This is really important to me, I simply won’t miss it”
I don’t deal with confrontation well. So, now I am feeling inspired and anxious at the same time. Inspired because I have never really put any thought into my dream and actually making a move. Anxious because I was waiting for the fire on the other side of the text.
“Cancel the training, we will do it another day” – There was more words involved, but I’d rather not say.
Now I am just angry. I am angry because I had given someone else the right to have a say in what I can and can’t do before this huge amount of time. Now that I have taken control of my own intentions I can do and achieve what I’d like to without hesitation of pissing off someone else by doing something I love.
Julie, isn’t that really risky? Absolutely not.
I completed my shift to the best of my ability, I will never give anything less. That’s not me. Then continued to the meeting.
I was 15 minutes early much to my surprise. Traffic was awful.
The meeting was so smooth and the communication line was there. I was in the moment, I was fired up, I was ready. I was home. This is right. So, I signed my name on the several dotted lines – but that wasn’t the full stop in my life sentence. Those dotted lines meant so much more to me than the beginning of something new. It meant the end of a long journey which has been preparing me for this moment. I am ready. I am whole.
For too long I have been watching movies from the side lines that starred other people. Now it’s my turn.
The first thing I did? Call my mum. I am ecstatic. She is ecstatic – she also always has the right words to say if she can hear unease or anxiety in my voice. Calling her made everything real.
The next thing? I came home and took my partner out for dinner. I had chicken with blue brie. Turns out. I don’t like blue brie. haha! I topped it off with a spanish hot chocolate.
Now the real creating can begin. After all – I create myself.